missddreamer Guest
|  | Jeffrey Dahmer Quotes « Thread Started on Aug 15, 2007, 11:04pm » | |
When asked why he was helping identify his victims:
"to relieve the minds of the parents", he said, "I mean, it's a small, very small thing, but I don't know what else I could do. At least I can do that."..."because I created this horror and it only makes sense that I do everything to put an end to it, a complete end to it."
"It's just a nightmare, let's put it that way," he said, "It's been a nightmare for a long time, even before I was caught...for years now, obviously my mind has been filled with gruesome, horrible thoughts and ideas...a nightmare."
"I couldn't find any meaning for my life when I was out there. I'm sure as hell not going to find it in here."..."This is the grand finale of a life poorly spent and the end result is just overwhelmingly depressing...it's just a sick, pathetic, wretched, miserable life story, that's all it is. How it can help anyone, I've no idea."
Talking about his first murder: "I'd rather be talking about anything else in the world than this."
"That night in Ohio", he recalled, "that one impulsive night. Nothing's been normal since then. It taints your whole life. After it happened I thought that I'd just try to live as normally as possible and bury it, but things like that don't stay buried. I didn't think it would, but it taints your whole life." *(as a note, Dahmer didn't commit his second murder for nearly 10 years).
One night Dahmer hid in a store until closing, to steal a mannequin:
"At about eleven o'clock at night, when everyone was gone and the store was locked up from the outside. I went out and undressed the mannequin and I had a big sleeping bag cover. I put it in that, zipped it up and carried it out of te store, which was a pretty dangerous thing to do. I never thought of them maybe having security cameras or being locked in the store, but I walked out with it and took it back home. I ended up getting a taxi and brought it back and kept it with me a couple of weeks. I just went throught various sexual fantasies with it, pretending it was a real person, pretending that I was having sex with it, masturbating, and undressing it." *(the author notes that this behavior seems less odd when we consider how many porn shops sell a great number of inflatable dolls for men to use; nor the number of times that men are in an art museum, thinking they are alone, and are seen on camera to run their hands over the bodies of the statues).
"It would have been better if I'd just stuck to the mannequins," he said. "Much, much better."
After he discovered his second murder:
"I felt complete shock."..."Just couldn't believe it. Shock, horror, panic, I just couldn't believe it happened again after all those years when I'd done nothing like this."..."It's almost like I temporarily lost control of myself. I don't know what was going through my mind. I have no memory of it. I tried to dredge it up, but I have no memory of it whatsoever."
His second murder, it was evident he beat the man, suggesting rage, so they asked why:
"You're right, you're right, I can't side-step that. That shocked me in the morning. Where that rage came from or why that happened, I don't know. I was not conscious of it. I must have pounded awful hard, because the rib-cage had broken, I could feel the bone. Everything went blank on me." *(the author suggests, perhaps it was not rage but that Dahmer was trying to get inside the man's body to reach his heart, since in Dahmer's mind this would be the ultimate intimacy).
"One thing I know for sure," he said, "it was a definite compulsion because I couldn't quit. I tried, but after the Ambassador, I couldn't quit. It woud be nice if someone could give me an answer on a silver platter as to why I did all this and what casued it, because I can't come up with an answer."
"After the fear and the terror of what I'd done had left, which took about a month or two, I started it all over again. From then on it was a craving, a hunger, I don't know how to describe it, a compulsion, and I just kept doing it, doing it and doing it, whenever the opportunity presented itself."
"My desires were bestial, obvioulsy."
"I think my emotions were pretty well seared at that time, as far as any decent emotions."
"I always feel a little uneasy talking about this. No matter how many times I go through it, it's just as sickening every time I do."
"This is going to sound bad," he said, "but...should I say it?...I took the drill while he was asleep..."
"Yes, I do have remorse, but I'm not even sure myself whether it's as prfound as it should be. I've always wondered myself why I don't feel more remorse."
"Nothing else gave me pleasure towards the end, nothing, not normal things, especially near the end when things just started piling up, person after person, during the last six months. I could not get pleasure from going out to eat, I just felt very empty, frustrated, and driven to continue doing it. None of these are excuses for what I did, but those are the feelings I had in those last months, really intensive. For some reason, I kept doing it. I knew my job was in jeopardy around February. All I would have had to do was just stop for several months at a time and space it out, but it didn't happen that way. I was just driven to do it more frequently and more frequently until it was just too much- complete overload. I couldn't control it any more."
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